


Unsure

by Nightshadow_of_Fernclan



Series: State chaos [6]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Multi, pronoun confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 04:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19143469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightshadow_of_Fernclan/pseuds/Nightshadow_of_Fernclan
Summary: Luka had always just assumed that they/them was the only pronouns they could use when they came out. as the years have gone on they continue to feel more and more wrong to them, Luka is lucky South dakota is there to lend advice.Written for Pride 2019





	Unsure

**Author's Note:**

> hey this is the most current timeline thing i've written as far as my state OC's go and this story is very personal to me as i identify as non binary like Luka but i still use My old Female pronouns and this story is kinda my story as well except i didn't have a family member to rely on and had to discover for myself it was okay to pick the pronouns that had meaning and felt right to ME

“Hey Luka, you okay?” Alexei asked setting down the game controller. “ You don't seem like yourself.” While Luka knew they weren't the most outgoing person, in fact they're personality was a stark contrast to their older sisters and even their adopted sister fit in better then them. Then again their mother was rather reserved herself. They had no idea their change in behavior had become noticeable. They could tell from their boyfriend's tone of voice that Alaska was genuinely worried, but Luka had no idea how to voice his troubles. Although they doubted that Alexei would just ignore them or tell them they were being stupid. They just didn't feel like now was a good time to discuss it with him. Then again who could they talk to. Skyker, their oldest sister was dealing with relationship drama as was their parents. Their twin older sisters, while they loved them weren't always the most emphatic of people. 

 

“Hey have you two seen America.” New York poked her head in the room along with Luka's mother Missouri. 

 

“We can't find him.” Their mother added. She tossed something to Luka. They took a look at it and it was a catalog for an upcoming horse sale. Luka had forgotten their mother was insisting they get a second horse as they could only go so far with their current horse or well pony Apollo. “At least look at it, you may find one you like.” They liked Apollo. It wasn't like they'd be getting rid of Apollo, but Luka couldn't really see themselves on another horse. They looked silly on a larger horse as proven that morning during their lesson on show jumping when Missouri insisted Luka try one of her larger horses and had put them on an almost seventeen hand high off the track Thoroughbred gelding named Heartless. Despite his name he was quite sweet, but otherwise Luka felt so tiny on him. 

 

“We haven't seen him.” Alexei, likely guessing luka wasn't going to answer, did so himself. “Why is it so hard to keep track of dad?” 

 

“Because he's like a less grim version of River.” Addison said shooting Missouri a look. “Things get too hard they end up drunk.”

 

“Hey I didn't know this was pick on River day.” Luka didn't miss the sarcasm dripping from every word. “Last I checked I was with you when he disappeared and I'm sober.” now that was debated when things started going south for their parents relationship-wise the first the River had done was drink till she passed out. Not like Luka could blame her, when their parents slip temporally Luka had been forced to go with Iceland when he left as They where Iceland's capital. Their parents were back together for the most part but one left, saying she wasn't going to be the reason a twenty year relationship ended. 

 

“Try the trails, you mentioned at breakfast that America had a lot on his mind.” Luka decided to speak up. “If he's anything like you mom, he likely took Diablo out.” Luka just really just really wanted their mother and aunt to leave. Wait, that's right, they had family members who'd understand. Without giving an excuse Luka got up and left leaving three very confused states behind them.

 

“Luka, what do you need?” South Dakota questioned as Luka made their way into the library. SD was the only other person Luka knew who was like them. They had been Luka's main support before they came out. 

 

“I really need some advice.” SD put down their book and patted the spot next to them on the sofa, a clear indicator for Luka to sit down. “I'm uncomfortable with my pronouns. When I first came out everyone just sort of defaulted to calling me they and them.”

 

“Luka, it's been years.” SD's voice was soft, “Why are only coming to me with now?”

 

“I felt like if I kept my old pronouns I would be doing something wrong.” Luka confessed. “Like I no one would take me seriously.” Luka could feel themselves getting angry. They clenched their hand into fists. 

 

“Luka calm down before someone gets hurt.” SD's calm, but somewhat panicked voice broke into the wall of emotions and they realized they where surrounded by the green light that embodied their magic and at once Luka knew they'd almost lost control of their magical abilities. Why was they getting so angry over this? 

 

“Luka, at the end of the day pronouns are words. At the end of the day just like any other word they only hold as much meaning as you decide to give them.” South Dakota wrapped Luka into a hug. “Why did you decide to keep your name as Luka?” at first this puzzled Luka. What did their name have to do with this?

 

“Because I'm named after uncle Lukas and uncle Mathias.” 

 

“Exactly, you love them so the name Luka Mathias has meaning to you.” SD's voice was warm and serious. “You know your a lot like Ice and Colt in that you don't want to start conflict.” SD chuckled. “You know it wouldn't hurt for you to use that mouth and mischievous nature I know you inherited for Hong Kong and River.” 

 

“Are you saying there's something wrong with me?” Luka crossed his arms pretending to be offended. 

 

“Or are you saying we need a second baba in this house?” All the color drained from SD's face. HK was notorious for pranks. 

 

“No, I don't think we could survive a second Hong Kong.” they paused for a second. “Although seeing as Ari is turning to another America I think it's you little brother we need to worry about.”


End file.
